Heather Keith Freeman (jnanacandra) wrote,
Heather Keith Freeman

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One month

I'm going to steal a page from dooce and Cecily and try to post monthly letters to Aiden on how he's been growing and what life with him has been like.

Dear Aiden,

You are one month old today. Holy cow.

One of the things everyone tells you when you have a baby coming is "enjoy it when they're tiny, they grow up so fast". And while that doesn't seem true in the middle of things, I look back and am amazed at how quickly this first month seems to have gone by.

I could see your personality the first time you looked at me, bare minutes old. Your eyes were a stormy midnight blue then, but within days shifted to the darkest velvet grey. You hardly cried at all for the first two days, you were so busy looking around at this strange new world.

Your hair is straight and medium brown, and growing in crazy cowlicks that will not stay down. Your eyebrows are almost visible now.

One day soon I will have to bite the bullet and attempt to cut those insanely sharp little fingernails of yours, like kitten claws.

You are such a calm, zen little person - not that you don't get upset from time to time, but there's always a reason for it, and once it's fixed you're all happy gurgles and smiles.

You're a voracious eater, and once you're securely latched gaze off into the distance with a thoughtful look like you are pondering the mysteries of the universe. (I can picture you one day waxing philosophical over the roast Thanksgiving turkey with that same look in your eyes.)

You love to play with your tongue, sticking it out and curling it with impressive dexterity. (Your preferred gender(s) are going to love you some day!)

Thanks to you I have a greater appreciation for anime. No, really - the textbook anime "kawaii!" expression which I always found so unrealistic, with the upside-down semicircle eyes and the open, triangular mouth, could have been drawn straight off of your happy face. Likewise the neutral 'big eyes, little mouth' expression is a dead match for you when you start looking for food and turn on the cute. Your eyes absolutely sparkle then with life and excitement.

As far as developmental milestones go, you seem to be ahead of the curve, though as you're the first infant I've known I could be a little biased. You can lift your head and hold it mostly under control for several seconds at a time. Your eyes focus and track objects, though not terribly smoothly. Your favorite thing to look at is faces, but sometimes you can be distracted by a toy. You've discovered your hands, sucking on them and occasionally swiping at objects, and have once or twice managed to grab my or your daddy's finger and bring it to your mouth. You've shown no signs of trying to roll over yet, but frankly I'm not complaining - the house is so not ready for you to be mobile! You are definitely deliberately smiling, mostly at me and your daddy, but sometimes at the wall or just because life is good.

A favorite game of yours, discovered by your daddy when he was changing your diaper, is to lay you on your back and pump your arms up and down while grinning madly. You LOVE this, and it can usually distract you (at least momentarily) from a cranky mood.

Our cat, Nuit, has adapted to your presence remarkably well. She sniffed you without panic the day we brought you home, and now regularly curls up next to you on the bed. Yesterday she even licked your head!

As I write this you are curled up in your favorite napping place on my chest, belly down, head turned to my right, tiny hands clutching at my collarbone and stray strands of my hair.

You've gained about four pounds since you were born - nearly half your birth weight! You're 24 inches long, and your head is 15 inches circumference. You're wearing size 2 diapers and 3-6 month clothes (though some of the newborn stuff still fits). You seem simultaneously impossibly tiny and amazingly huge, a wondrously new miracle of life who has been with me forever.

This world I've brought you into can be a scary and depressing place. There are times when I wonder if I was completely mad to conceive of having a child at all; but the world also seems a much more amazing place with you in it.

Welcome, my son, welcome to the machine.

Don't let anyone tell you what to dream.

Tags: aiden, monthly update, parenting

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