Heather Keith Freeman (jnanacandra) wrote,
Heather Keith Freeman

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Dude. Coolest. Dream. EVAR.


So the first bit involved me coming out of my house one morning and finding a bizarre set of booby traps. Bizarre in that their conceptualization was reasonably clever, but the execution was blazingly obvious. There was this giant rope (like 2" diameter) strung as a tripwire, connected to a big batch of explosives. There was a lawn ornament rigged to throw a net on me if I stepped on an X. And - dammit, I've forgotten the others, but they were SO COOL. In that "extremely nifty gadget but why on earth would you do it this way?" sense.

So I come out to get the mail, stare at the booby traps, and proceed to have a conversation with some friends (who helpfully materialized) about who would be out to get me in such an ingenious-yet-idiotic fashion. We speculated a bit and then went on with our day.

And then the aliens invaded.

We were in a weapons shop (apparently swords were the weapon of choice in this dream universe, yay!) when a friend ran in yelling about the people in black berets who had just landed. They had guns, but didn't appear to be using them as actual distance weapons, more just threats and the occasional bludgeon to someone who got in their way.

I came out of the shop, and there was this large field across the way where you could see a whole regiment of them advancing. They looked human enough, but you could tell, somehow, that there was something "off" about them. Little clots of them were splitting off and setting up giant fans connected to chemical diffusers, which I immediately knew were meant to induce apathy into all the humans.

I ran back into the shop, dithered briefly about the ethicality of taking a sword when the owner wasn't there (but my friends said "dude, you need a sword. pay her later, she'll understand." So I rummaged around, and the best sword I could find was this bizarre thing with little razor-sharp pinwheels set into the blade. I remember being afraid that they would catch on whatever I was cutting, so making a mental note to have extremely good follow-through on my swings.

Anyway, I grab the sword and run outside, and swing at the hose hooked up to one of the chemical diffusers. This milky white goo gushes out, and the guards have absolutely no idea what to do, so I run off.

At this point I encounter a VIA (Very Important Alien), who starts walking with me, referencing a prior encounter (which of course was not in the dream, though I remembered having it in the dream). Something about this prior encounter involved him telling me that I would sit in his chair and eat his food and come to a better understanding. As we discuss this, he's walking me into the alien headquarters. Then the dream cuts, movie-style, to me coming out of the building alone, feeling ashamed that I didn't open a can of whoop-ass on them, justifying it that no matter how stupid they were I couldn't have gotten more than a few dozen before they took me down, and finally resolving that it was what needed to happen, and I'd eventually get them anyway.

Then I woke up. And in that semi-dream state right after waking up from one, I figured out the key to the aliens' weakness, and knew that if I went back there I'd be able to take them down. The weakness was their combination of superior resources and firepower with an utter lack of human-style common sense. (See the booby traps and not using the guns as, well, guns.) So basically I'd be able to manipulate them into squandering all their resources in one area while I snuck in and destroyed them through another, in a way that probably would be obvious to a human army but not to this one.

Anyway. I woke up very entertained and tickled by the dream. And I didn't have to pay eight bucks to see it in a theater!
Tags: dreams

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