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by the way

Yes, I've been defriending a lot of people lately. I'm trying to cut down on the amount of time I spend online, which is disproportionally weighted towards LJ. I've been handling it for a while with a separation between "people I read" and "people who read me" filters, but it's too much hassle to maintain.

So the standard disclaimer applies: it's nothing personal! And if you've been cut and are really sad about it, let me know. It may well just be because I haven't seen you write anything in a while or some such.

It's awkward. I feel like I shouldn't even want to make a post like this, apologizing and making disclaimers for my private whims and preferences, that it's catering too much to the passive-aggressive behaviors that I've been working very hard to prune out of my life. But such passive-aggressiveness is somewhat inherent to the nature of the medium (which probably contributes to its great success as a drama propagation device). It's enough to tempt me to leave it behind entirely, were it not for the fact that this is the only way I keep in touch with a lot of people I care about.

Anyway. Back to packing.


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 8th, 2005 09:45 pm (UTC)
Apologise for nothing!
It is your life!
If people are upset that you've cut them, an explanation should be enough!
Then again, I'm an evil, cruel, heartless, bastich of doooom!
I just can't wait for you to come back to Seattle so we can commence our mad passionate affair... of doooom!
May. 8th, 2005 09:57 pm (UTC)
You have nothing to apologize for, nor any obligations to keep anyone, me included, on your Flist. Don't feel guilty. If your life is busy, removing yet one more thing that's distracting you is a good thing, right? *hug*

If you unfriend me, I'll just check your journal now and again and make sure you're ok.

May. 8th, 2005 11:04 pm (UTC)
Hey there!
Hi Heather :)

Definitely do NOT apologize for cleaning house - it's *your* journal!

I have a question for you - I've got a friend in the area who is very interested in the OTO. Apparently there is a lodge starting up in Wells (or maybe it was Portland...I don't remember..) and she was interested in checking out the open ritual down with the Lodge in Salem Mass. I'm hoping to go down with her, and we don't want to make asses out of ourselves. Would you be willing to pass along some "Newbie Tips" for us? Feel free to privately email me if you want.



May. 9th, 2005 10:21 pm (UTC)
I'm sending you an email with some info on the local group and the Oasis in Salem.
May. 9th, 2005 12:05 am (UTC)
Hi Heather! yes, bottom line, it's your journal and your life priorities; you just do as you see fit and what you need to do, even if that means taking me off your list too. Our lives change, things get hectic, and we have to make decisions; nobody should get upset over that.
Happy packing and dreaming about your new home!

May. 9th, 2005 12:33 am (UTC)
I would like you to do whatever feels best to you. I definitely would like to keep in touch, but can also do so through Andrei's journal. I'm really bummed that you and he aren't moving here, but I loved Seattle when I lived there and really do understand.

Best of luck to you both!
May. 9th, 2005 01:43 am (UTC)
There's no need to apologise, miss. If the reading list has gotten unwieldy or there are folks with whom you no longer share a connexion, there's no harm in trimming the list. Me, I'd rather someone drop me so that I know they're not reading than keep me and filter me out through some strange sense of obligation. *hugs*

And if you feel funny making an announcement about it, don't worry too much about that either. In some cases, such announcements serve to create drama, but more often, I see them as a form of courtesy. It all depends on how it's handled. I think that yours falls under the courtesy headline; the "I just wanted folks to know that I had to do a little trimming. It's getting too much. No hard feelings, 'kay?" post is always very polite.

Gah. Watch me ramble! *grin*
May. 9th, 2005 03:25 pm (UTC)
I've had to cut people from my friends view as well, although usually it's a more antagonistic reason (they're depressing all the time, way way WAY too much posting, started to hate me, etc.). I, uh, manage to find time for just about everyone I can otherwise.

The only reason I'd be bummed at not being on your friends list is I may miss something interesting/important that you friends-locked. *shrug*


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )


firesea: self-portrait
Heather Keith Freeman
Fire Sea Studios

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