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Feb. 16th, 2003

Can stability and passion coexist in a relationship? (Really co-exist - not go through cycles between them)

If so, why is it so damned hard to find?



( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 16th, 2003 07:58 am (UTC)
Yes, though it takes a lot of time and paitence. And, to be honest, if you'd asked me this a few months ago, I'd likely have said no. But, I think I'm starting to find it. It also seems to really hinge upon making sure the right people are involved.
Feb. 16th, 2003 08:07 am (UTC)
Depends a lot on how define each, of course.. but I would argue that sustainable stability is not possible without passion. (And I mean passion in a general sense, not just physical).

On the other hand, maybe it's not possible to find stability ever anyways, and passion is the way to go. ;)
(no subject) - falcore - Feb. 16th, 2003 09:44 am (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 16th, 2003 11:55 am (UTC)
I think it really depends on the people involved. Some people (myself not included) are good at quietly simmering passion, the sort that seems to lend itself well to stability. I think my only shot at having them co-exist *is* the cyclical approach, done consciously rather than uncontrollably.

Then again, my personal mantra for calming myself is "the only peace I'll ever know is the eye of the hurricane", so I'm really not a good one to ask about stability.
Feb. 16th, 2003 01:22 pm (UTC)
Ooh, I like that mantra. I may adopt it myself :)
Feb. 16th, 2003 05:37 pm (UTC)
You are right about it being extremely hard to find but I can tell you it does exist. I think I've finally found it myself. *hugs* If you want someone to talk to you know that I'm always here to lend a shoulder.
Feb. 18th, 2003 10:55 am (UTC)
Yes, but your definition of passion may not be compatible with stability per se. Is the following scenario enough passion for you:

Come home from work late, because you just had to get something done. SO is home and missed you. You walk in the door and manage to say, "Hi, I'm home, sorry" before you are enveloped in a large hug, complete with protestations of how much you were missed, which leads into *ahem* other things. Compare this with your normal returning-home routine, which is a) walk in door b) get greeted by SO with a "Hi, how ya doing" from the other room c) drop off coat and stuff and d) collapse in chair to discuss dinner.

Part of passion is the surprise in it - the newness. This is often the problem with relationships, because you get used to other people. Part of passion is the fact that it does not just happen, and it's a two-way street. You can initiate it, so can the other person(s). And sometimes there isn't time for passion, and stability is reasurring.

I treasure the time I have passion in my life, because it highlights when I don't, but things are reasurringly the same. I don't need "drama" from my passion, but I do need to know that I'm loved. Sometimes when I ask gootmu if he loves me, he'll reply with a simple, "Of course." Other times he will list, in detail, all the reasons he has for loving me, and how each and every one of them make me more dear to him. And to me, that is also passion - why else would he spend so much effort making sure I am reasurred that he cares for me?
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )


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