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What do I want?

I want too much.

I want a tribe, an extended chosen family. I want partners who rouse the spiritual and physical passion in me. I want children; at least one of my body, and more of my heart.

I want the people surrounding me to be honest and open; to err on the side of more communication, not less. I want friends with whom I can have all-night philosophical discussions; with whom I don't agree on everything, but share enough that we can debate from common ground. I want them to like cats.

I want a large house, with three or more people living there and more visiting frequently. I want my home to be a home away from home for others, and yet still have my own private space. I want to have room to experiment with space, and color, and light. I want a garden.

I want to not have to worry about money. I don't need to live lavishly, but I don't want to be always fretting about where my next month's rent is coming from, or to feel guilty about buying art supplies. I want to go to a Symphony concert once in a while.

I want to take yoga classes, and aikido, and go to life drawing sessions. I want to go skydiving again.

I want to continue being an artist. I want a business manager, or an agent, to sell my work for me.

I want to be able to travel more often; to visit Maine, Boston, Pittsburgh, LA more than once a year. I want to go places I've never been: New Zealand, Japan, Scotland, Egypt. I want to go to Burning Man.

I want to find or start a drum circle that isn't all djembe cowboys. I want to find a pagan circle that isn't fluffy-bunny Wiccan. I want to take my second degree, and be Priestess in a Gnostic Mass. I want to find a place like Four Quarters out here, and dance all night by the fire under the standing stones.

I want too much.

Comments

lordandrei
Feb. 6th, 2003 02:20 pm (UTC)
This may sound trite and to aol-me tooish... but I actually mean it when I say...
93, my sister:

This post took several hours of contemplation and several revisions. Because the statements evoked a great deal within me and I felt the need to put the right degree of my response in; as the words are really more a reaffirmation to myself and should not be read (as it likely could be) like an application response to a classified ad. That being noted; how I feel personally is:


I want to know why I never had longer conversations with you and got to know you better.

There is so much on your list that is the deep rooted issues that I've been able to find in a partner. (No this isn't meant as a 'hey look at me' post.)

I fully agree with 90+% of what you post in what I want out of someone. So I figured I'd make a post about where I personally disagree or feel elaboration suits me more. ;)

I want too much.
I can't buy into this. And the simple word here is Will. These are the kind of things that are me. Not wants. These are things that I know need to be a part of me 100% for me to feel complete. If this is what you are; if this is what you believe is a part of you; you have to live toward that for as long as that is a part of you.

Do your will and no one will say nay. (Personally, I have elaboration on this, that people may balk; but the act of nay being a word that says, "This is not for you" should never have any credibility or value.) As always; 93 == YMMV

I want a tribe, an extended chosen family. I want partners who rouse the spiritual and physical passion in me. I want children; at least one of my body, and more of my heart.
I'm 100% for this; but I guess by your terms; I want even more than too much. The desire of children; some to be of my body, and all to be of my heart must be coupled with the fact that ALL the members of my tribe must be of mind and personality that I can trust them to be part of the raising of the children that I raise. So many people have come into my life that have roused me spiritually, and/or passionately, but to me there must be intellectual and/or emotional as well. And again, above all when we are ready for the children; all must be looking to that and responsible and caring and nurturing as much as I hope to be.

I want to continue being an artist. I want a business manager, or an agent, to sell my work for me.
I want to do my creative process (theatre) and not worry about how the business works behind allowing my creative process to be delivered.

I want to be able to travel more often; to visit Maine, Boston, Pittsburgh, LA more than once a year. I want to go places I've never been: New Zealand, Japan, Scotland, Egypt. I want to go to Burning Man. goes hand in hand for me with I want the people surrounding me to be honest and open; to err on the side of more communication, not less. I want friends with whom I can have all-night philosophical discussions; with whom I don't agree on everything, but share enough that we can debate from common ground. I want them to like cats. because I am ready to travel (I have the means and the time) but hate to travel distance alone. In other words; I'm still looking for a traveling companion who wants to share the experience, talk, and enjoy (and not worry about or read more into how they get there)

I want too much.
In the pursuit of being true to who you are inside... In pursuit of that which I think (YMMV) is akin to the True Will;

You can never demand to much.
The word of Sin is Restriction Liber Al vel Legis, I,41
(Okay, so I am a centre of Pestilence)

LOVE is the LAW! LOVE under WILL!
jnanacandra
Feb. 6th, 2003 05:24 pm (UTC)
Re: This may sound trite and to aol-me tooish... but I actually mean it when I say...
Go Go Gadget Centres of Pestilence!

:)

Thank you.

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