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What do I want?

I want too much.

I want a tribe, an extended chosen family. I want partners who rouse the spiritual and physical passion in me. I want children; at least one of my body, and more of my heart.

I want the people surrounding me to be honest and open; to err on the side of more communication, not less. I want friends with whom I can have all-night philosophical discussions; with whom I don't agree on everything, but share enough that we can debate from common ground. I want them to like cats.

I want a large house, with three or more people living there and more visiting frequently. I want my home to be a home away from home for others, and yet still have my own private space. I want to have room to experiment with space, and color, and light. I want a garden.

I want to not have to worry about money. I don't need to live lavishly, but I don't want to be always fretting about where my next month's rent is coming from, or to feel guilty about buying art supplies. I want to go to a Symphony concert once in a while.

I want to take yoga classes, and aikido, and go to life drawing sessions. I want to go skydiving again.

I want to continue being an artist. I want a business manager, or an agent, to sell my work for me.

I want to be able to travel more often; to visit Maine, Boston, Pittsburgh, LA more than once a year. I want to go places I've never been: New Zealand, Japan, Scotland, Egypt. I want to go to Burning Man.

I want to find or start a drum circle that isn't all djembe cowboys. I want to find a pagan circle that isn't fluffy-bunny Wiccan. I want to take my second degree, and be Priestess in a Gnostic Mass. I want to find a place like Four Quarters out here, and dance all night by the fire under the standing stones.

I want too much.

Comments

ezzie00
Feb. 6th, 2003 10:52 am (UTC)
Heather, your dreams are perfect. Your path has a very difficult start, but do well, and all of your wishes can come true. (wow, that's a really trite statement, but it's true.)

Anyway, in your first couple of years you will struggle, produce art at a frenzied pace making moderate sales. Over time, your work will attract the attention of others, and the money will reach a pace where you can afford having someone else take a cut while they market your work. At that point your pace can slow down, you can concentrate on creating the art you really want to do. Deadlines may become part of your work depending on what avenue you take your art, but you will no longer need to worry about the petty details like shipping and marketing, and finding customers.

Over time your collection will reach critical mass and you will be able to relax even further and do those extended things you wish to do, like travel.

I want many things too, and it always seems like they are always going to be 1 more month away. However this time in life is the time needed to work and set the stage for the rest of life. Building careers, portfolios, experience. The more the better. Over time the work you produce now will snowball to create better and better opportunities for yourself and those around you.

I'm preaching now... oh well, I hope some of it is worth something. You are an extremely talented artist, and you have the drive to do great things. Good luck!

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firesea: self-portrait
jnanacandra
Heather Keith Freeman
Fire Sea Studios

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