Heather Keith Freeman (jnanacandra) wrote,
Heather Keith Freeman
jnanacandra

  • Mood:

hmmm.

This has the potential for a decent essay, I think - but for now, it's just therapy.


How to recover from heartbreak, step one: Get on with your life. This doesn't mean throwing yourself at the next person who asks you out. It doesn't mean keeping your weekends open just in case they call. You will see them everywhere, be reminded of them everywhere, but just grit your teeth and get on with your life. See your other friends. Do your personal projects. Take some alone time. And if you catch yourself obsessing, for God's sake do something else!

And making plans with your friends, but knowing that you'll cancel them if the ex calls, doesn't count.

Step two: Convince yourself that you do actually want to recover.

This is harder than it sounds. No protesting that they will come to their senses any moment now and it will be as if the breakup never happened. No last noble words. No final letters baring your soul. No fluttering heart at the sound of the telephone.

Proclaiming loudly that you wouldn't take them back if they asked you doesn't count. We know you're secretly hoping that they'll hear about it, see the error of their ways, and come begging to be taken back.

And telling yourself that you're over them just so the time until you get back together will be more bearable definitely doesn't count.

Wanting to recover doesn't mean that the hurt is gone. It doesn't mean that you never (or ever!) want to see them again. It does mean that you fully accept and acknowledge that right here and now they are only causing you hurt, and there is absolutely no point in continuing to allow them to hurt you.

Step three: Er. I'll let you know when I figure it out.
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