January 15th, 2012

media: raven at door

My, it's dusty 'round here.

If there's one thing I'm going to try to give up on for 2012, it's this compulsion to explain why I've stopped posting, writing, reading, or doing any particular thing on- or offline. Shit happens, life happens, and explaining it is more exhausting than just getting on with it. Not to mention I get so tangled up in the prospective explanation that I never start writing again.

2011 sucked. Big time. In more ways than I care to explain. But it also put a lot of things to rest, big, painful, terrible things that I think I can finally walk away from.

My post from the beginning of last year still haunts me - "2011 is going to be awesome", I said. Awful was more like it. But I'm doing my best to look at it as the final inferno that burned away enough debris to make room for new growth. The Blasted Tower that crumbled beneath my feet, making room for the Star.

Ahem. That's enough of that.

Anyway, rethinking many things these days. My business model is likely to get a complete overhaul, as it's still causing me too much stress, and the number one thing I can do to improve my health is lower my stress levels.

We're moving next month (just across town - Churchill, for Pittsburghers) to a house I've been involved with redecorating for the last few weeks. It's felt like my own HGTV reality show without the cameras, and it's not done yet. But I will have a brilliant gold living room that I can't walk into without smiling. And our bedroom is deep red, and the upstairs bathrooms purple, and that's not even half of the gorgeous colors I will be surrounding myself with!

We also recently got a new car, as our second Prius was totaled, again. In an effort to stave off the pattern of people slamming into my car as if it's not there, the new one is the anti-Prius - a big, red minivan, a 2012 Chrysler Town and Country. It has some awesome features, from the heated seats which are a quick path to happiness on frigid winter mornings, to the endless parade of safety features which take on a whole new level of relevance when you've been in three car-totaling accidents, none of them your fault, in the last ten years. I feel safer in this car than I have in a long time on the road, and that is worth every penny we spent on her. (Her name is "Aurelia", because the voice of the GPS system reminds me of the character by that name in the movie "Love, Actually".) And she has a bumper sticker which sums up my philosophical approach to most things these days:

Trust those who seek the truth. Doubt those who have found it.