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November 30th, 2005

For Chris

I have no words to express what I feel today. Unutterable sadness that one of the brightest stars of my life has set; unutterable joy that finally he is without pain, free to continue his journey to places I can't even imagine.

If I can strive to be half of what he was, to radiate half the light that he did, I will have achieved more than I can dream of.


A psychological effect of grief seems to be possessiveness of your relationship; the feeling, however knowingly irrational, that no one else could know what you're feeling, that he couldn't have meant to others what he meant to you.

The miracle of Chris was that he did mean just that much, and more - to everyone. To people he met for a single day, an hour, they all recognized that blazing fire of joy and divine light within him. The world is a poorer, dimmer place without him; but we are infinitely richer for his memory.

Hear me, Lord of the Stars!Collapse )

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