February 16th, 2002

firesea: self-portrait

uuuup.... dooooown.... uuuupp..... doooown....

holy fscking mood swings, batman.

morning: woke up happy enough, but really really really didn't want to get up. brain seems to have gotten to the point of stress where it just shuts down when I tell it to do something. finally managed to get myself up by convincing myself I didn't *have* to get up. (there's logic for you.)

ran off to boskone. made critical error by not procuring food/drink on the way. the panels were nifty and inspiring and happy-making, but promptly afterwards I crashed hard. depressed, blah, grumpy. made the rounds of the art show (nobody bid on any of my stuff - but this was looking like as low a turnover show as arisia was if not more so) and the dealers' room. got a couple used paperbacks and an opal ring (been wanting something opal for ages, finally found something nice/affordable).

drove home, getting cut off by stupid drivers every half mile (or so it seemed). vented at wyndam a little, played some civ III, felt a little better. finally got myself together enough to go upstairs and do some artwork.


I did a complete pencil drawing that I really really really like - a nude woman with her hands over her head and hair streaming behind her. I managed to get an asian cast to her features, which I've never quite managed before. I've even titled it already - "The Wind Shall Be My Wings."

anyway. feeling quite good now. and if I don't sell anything this show, it's hardly the end of the world. and I have many many ideas.

the boys are watching curling on tv, and cheering and clapping. seems analogous to cheering on a cat sleeping in the sun. or golf. ppblttth.

a quote from one of the panels: "At some point you have to decide. Are you going to continue saying you'll be a professional some day but never having the guts to follow through? Or are you going to say, I AM a professional. This is my work. Take me seriously."

Also: "Artists don't retire - they just draw their life to a close."

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