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July 31st, 2001

wheeeee!

confusion alleviated. back to the giddy-bouncy end of the spectrum for me!

ok, I *really* need to get some work done today. *repressed snicker*

my tattoo is ITCHY!!
so yesterday at my therapy appointment we finally got around to one of the central problems I have - my frequent inability to make myself do things that I know I should do/will enjoy/is good for me, etc. Like he was asking if I needed a way to relax more, and I said that I have a ritual I do that works, but I frequently can't make myself do it because I can't concentrate.

He was very confused. Flat out said "I don't get it." Said he wasn't sure if there was anything he could do, asked if I was sure I was trying my hardest, etc. Of course I've been trying my hardest you frickin moron! I'm here in your office because everything I've done hasn't worked!

He then said I might be depressed, and I said I didn't think that was so because this mood isn't constant; it happens frequently, but interspersed with happy/active periods (a long way from manic, though), and rarely lasts more than a day or two at a time. He didn't respond. I should have pressed him on that - his specialty is supposed to be depression, maybe he knows about some form of depression that only lasts short periods of time.

And of course my prospective ADD screening is still in HMO limbo.

sigh.

Jul. 31st, 2001

hey you mr brain you.

STOP THINKING!

argh.

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firesea: self-portrait
jnanacandra
Heather Keith Freeman
Fire Sea Studios

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