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July 24th, 2001

hmmm

finally tried to kill Diablo last night - failed miserably. The guy is a bitch.

Tara and I went tattoo studio hunting yesterday - found a couple places in Salem, but they're amazingly expensive. I think it's the whole proximity-to-Massachusetts thing; Tara got her first one in Portsmouth for $60, and similar ones were in the Salem stores for $200 or so! They were telling me my design was going to be in the $250-$350 range. I was planning on $100, maybe $150, but more than that and I can't afford to get it right now :( So we might just go back to Portsmouth. Tara liked them a lot, and I've seen a lot of good reviews of them, they're just annoying to get to.

I am starting to ponder the whole introducing-prospective-lover-to-husband-without-creating-awkward-situation problem. Sigh. jc's gotten a million times better since we started being actively poly, thanks to taking it in small steps (the first time it was a threesome with his best friend; then with just his best friend; then a group thing with other friends of ours; then just me and those friends; and each time I came back and screwed him silly afterwards, so he felt better). I have to figure out how far I'm going to bend this time - say he meets prospective-lover and doesn't like him, I'll really want to just say 'oh well, too bad' to him and trust that he will feel better when I haven't abandoned him the next day. Time for a Discussion(tm), in any case.

I can't shake the feeling that it would be so much better if he had a girlfriend, or at least some interest in someone other than me, but that's not going to happen until the depression gets better.
my gods, what a horrible, awful day.

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firesea: self-portrait
jnanacandra
Heather Keith Freeman
Fire Sea Studios

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