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June 25th, 2001

Jun. 25th, 2001

godsdamnit. i'm sick of always losing things, I'm sick of always being tired all the time, I'm sick of not being able to think straight. one more week till I see the shrink. one more week during which I won't be able to get anything done and be gradually convincing myself that he's going to pat me on the head and tell me to just grow up. and there's a department meeting tomorrow during which I'm convinced Rod will turn on me and demand to know why I haven't gotten anything done yet, and I don't want to go. every time I'm at work lately I cringe whenever anyone walks by the office. i want to stay at home curled up in my bed forever.

note to self

aftershock bottles are fragile. pad well when transporting, unless you want your car to smell like alcoholic cinnamon for the next million years.

once said bottle has broken, remember that liquid degrades the structural integrity of the cardboard within which it and its companions are residiing, and do not try to lift the whole box out at once.

if you remember to do that, and start bringing bottles in one by one, remember that a six-pack is also a cardboard container, and should not be trusted to hold its own contents without splattering smirnoff ice and shot glasses all over the pavement.

fortunately, the ice and two of the shot glasses survived. the remaining shot glass, which read "Core Dump" left this world true to its name, by core dumping itself and leaving the operating system to collect its garbage. or is that carrying the overtired coding metaphor too far?

hmmm

So I'm procrastinating work, but I actually came up with an interesting realization:

I don't think I've ever personally encountered any bigotry/prejudice directed at me, despite being relatively flagrantly bi and pagan. I discovered bisexuality and paganism in college, which is about as liberal an environment as you can get (at least in my social circles), and my parents didn't really care (well, my dad initially reacted by blocking out the memory of my telling him I was bi, or so he told me later - I hadn't noticed anything odd at the time, and he's gotten *much* less uptight over the last three years). I haven't been so stupid as to tell my grandmother, but neither have I hidden it from her (she once commented that my pentacle was "very attractive", hehe).

Even when I went to Pride I was prepared to see at least some protesters yelling stuff, but I didn't see anything but happy supportive people. I've gotten some ignorant comments, like "do you do spells for people? can you tell the future?" and stuff like that, but nothing that seemed mocking or derisive.

So am I just oblivious to the hatred that I read about everywhere, or have I just been that lucky? Do I just look so normal that people assume I'm a nice straight Christian girl and don't bother me? I am confused. My experience and my knowledge don't match up, and I HATE it when that happens.

Ok, so I've made a lot of posts the last couple days. I should shut up now so as not to flood my friends' friends pages :) and so I can theoretically do some work. Ya right. Roller Coaster Tycoon is calling me.

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firesea: self-portrait
jnanacandra
Heather Keith Freeman
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