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June 1st, 2001

sorry

Today's exposition shall be a rant on the excrable vagueness of the term 'I'm sorry'.

The list of things 'I'm sorry' can mean:

1a. 'I apologize for doing X; I knew it was wrong but I did it anyway, but I won't do it again'
1b. 'I apologize for doing X; it was an accident/out of ignorance, and I won't do it again'
2. 'I don't apologize for doing X, but I regret that X hurt you'
3. 'I wish this situation that is out of my control were otherwise so it wouldn't hurt you'

These are all subtle differences, but cause huge misunderstandings and warpings of social dynamics. Example: my dad, who was a depressed basket case for most of my life (fortunately he's getting better now) would always apologize for things with the intention of meaning (3), but inflecting it like meaning (1), which drove me and my mom crazy because he always seemed to be taking responsibility for the whole world. (2) is also an important distinction: for example, I once did something that could be construed as betraying person A; I am really sorry it hurt A, but don't regret doing it because it was something I needed to do.

Problem is if you go around saying the expanded forms, people will look at you funny. Here we are with the most sophisticated language on earth (at least if you measure it by vocabulary, which theoretically correlates somewhat to number of concepts you can express) and we still get this damned vagueness all over the place.

the meme spreads

I should look at this later and see what kind of a person this would describe to me if I didn't know me.

Full Name - Heather Keith. There are dark rumors of a middle name, but I deny everything.
Age - 23
Nicknames - Shimmering Jemmy, Hecate, Shadowcat, and various names snarfed from fantasy novels
Sex - Female
Birthday - July 9, 1977
Where Do You Live - near Boston, Massachusetts, USA
Are You A Flirt - if I'm in the right mood, hell yeah
Shoe Size - 9ish
Hair Color - brown, occasionally dyed red or black.
Eye Color - hazel
Parents Names - Bill and Nina
Righty Or Lefty - lefty
Hobbies - art of all kinds, writing, dance, drumming, piano and other instruments. When I get money/time, skydiving, rock climbing, and figure skating
What's Your Sign - Cancer with Aries/Taurus rising

ON FRIENDS -
You Go To For Advice - Jarrett, Laurel, Ezzie
You've Dreamt About - everyone
You Tell Your Dreams To - Jarrett
You Tell Secrets To - Jarrett

ON PREFERENCES-
Chocolate Milk Or Hot Chocolate - given I don't like chocolate....but hot chocolate with butterscotch schnapps is heavenly anyway.
Mc Ds Or hungry jacks - Never heard of Hungry Jack's.
Marry Perfect Lover Or Perfect Friend? A bit of both, hopefully, but leaning more towards perfect friend.
Root Beer or Dr Pepper - Ewwww. Mountain Dew all the way, baby.
Sappy/Action/Comedy/Horror - not sappy, not gross-out horror, not slapstick comedy. Fantasy and science fiction
Coffee/Cappucino/espresso/tea - Yuck.
Cats Or Dogs - Cats
Mud Or Jello Wrestling - jello!
With Or Without Ice Cubes - depends on the beverage
Milk Chocolate/Dark Chocolate/White Chocolate - ew.
Sunny Or Rainy - sunny
Winter/Spring/Summer/autumn - autumn
Vanilla or Chocolate - vanilla
Skiing Or Boarding - never done either. Winter sport of choice is figure skating
Biking Or Blading - if I had ever done it for more than 10 min, probably blading
Cereal Or Toast - toast
Night or day? - depends
Gloves Or Mittens - gloves
Dressed Or Undressed - undressed
Chewing Gum Or Hard Candy - depends. don't like candy all that much, anyway
Motor Or Sail Boat - sailboat

YOUR FAVORITES-
Colour - black, deep red, royal blue, purple, silver.
Number - 93
Fav Subject - yes.
Sport to watch - depends on mood. hockey, gymnastics, figure skating are all good.
Alcoholic Drink - at the moment, Alize (passion fruit liqueur). Margaritas are good all-around staples.
Sound - silence of a new-fallen snow
Smell - mango

THIS OR THAT-
Truth Or Dare - depends on my mood (like so much else)
Ocean Or Pool - ocean
Cake Or Pie - probably pie. depends what kind.
Silver Or Gold - silver
Diamonds Or Pearls - If I had to choose, diamonds. I like sapphires and garnets better.
Shaken or stirred - shaken
Taco Or Burrito - taco!
Armageddon Or Independence Day - Independence Day
Sunrise Or Sunset - sunset
Crushed Ice Or Cubed - If it's in a drink, cubed. If it's by itself or in a slushie-type thing, crushed.
Pizza Or Beef - hmmm. probably depends on mood
Ice Cream Or Ice Cream Bar - strawberry ice cream

MISC. QUESTIONS-
Did you like school or hate it? - both
Do you like to talk on the telephone? - hatehatehatehatehatehate
Do you like to dance? - yeah!
Have you ever been skinny dipping? - yes
Ever thought you were gonna die? - yes
Have you ever been high? - yes
Do you sleep with stuffed animals? - used to. stupid dust allergies stopped that, though
Have you ever broken/fractured a bone ? - fractured a finger and a wrist figure skating
Do you have any piercings? - yes
Where? - one in each ear (boring). I've considered getting an eyebrow or a navel piercing, but would probably get a tattoo first.
Do you consider yourself a good listener? - yes
Can you swim? - yes
Do you sing in the shower? - sometimes
Do you think cheerleading is a sport? - I suppose
Have you ever stolen anything? - yes
What color is your toothbrush? - red and white
What kind is it? - oral-b something or other
What's your worst injury ever? - colliding with Jarrett and snapping one of my front teeth. yay root canal.
What's the hardest thing about growing up? - fighting the illusion that you have to stop playing
Ever been in love? - six or seven times, sometimes with more than one at a time. whee.
What are you wearing right now? - black shorts, red t-shirt
Favorite place to be? - Santa Cruz, California.
What do you wear to bed? - nothing
What do you look for in a guy/girl? - empathy, trustworthiness

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