?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

random morbid thought...

I should write up my will. If for no other reason than to make it legally clear that a standard, gloomy, run-of-the-mill funeral is Not Allowed. Cremate me, have a whoop-ass wake instead, or a quiet private ritual if you must. No funeral. Period. If a funeral is held for me, I *will* unleash the Furies on you all. *growl*

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
wanderingpixie
Mar. 4th, 2002 09:48 am (UTC)
In my myth, symbol, and ritual class senior year, we had to come up with an answer for "What do you want your funeral to be like?" It was really weird to realize I had never thought about it. At least for now, I want to be cremated, have people scatter the ashes on a small plot of land, plant a sapling, and have a picnic. Gloomy funerals suck.
ef2p
Mar. 4th, 2002 10:27 am (UTC)
Funerals are for the living....
not the dead.

Funerals are a function for the living to come to terms with death. They really hold no purpose for the dead (they're dead aren't they)

Now I respect you wishes not to have a classic funeral, do realized that certain family and friends may need a more traditional when to come to terms with you death.

Now having said that. Funerals are not how I come to terms with death. Death is the only thing gurenteed in life. I accept death. It is natural. I believe in remembering the dead but not with a classic funeral. A classic funeral is kind of like remembering Elvis for his drug habits. Remember him by listening to his music. Remember people by showing how they lived not telling how they lived.

As far as I am concerned: Have a funeral for me if you must. Just don't take up any of our precious land with my body. Cremate me and spread my ashes. I would actually prefer to be composted and used to help things grow, but I don't think anyone is really willing to do that.

jnanacandra
Mar. 4th, 2002 11:09 am (UTC)
Re: Funerals are for the living....
A classic funeral is kind of like remembering Elvis for his drug habits.

I agree completely. This is why I hate funerals, and don't want one for myself. I realize that some people need some kind of a societally sanctioned structure in which to grieve, but the formality with which its treated in a funeral sickens me. Gods forbid you should tell a joke at a funeral, or a funny story about the deceased, or smile when recalling a happy memory of them.

Funerals are a function for the living to come to terms with death. They really hold no purpose for the dead (they're dead aren't they)

Basically, I view a funeral as half this, and half a means by which to honor the deceased and her life. What I hope to get across is that I do not consider standing around being formally mournful an honor; rather, the opposite. If you want to honor me, do so by remembering the positive impact I have had on your lives, rather than concentrating on the hole made by my absence.
wanderingpixie
Mar. 4th, 2002 11:23 am (UTC)
Re: Funerals are for the living....
Gods forbid you should tell a joke at a funeral, or a funny story about the deceased, or smile when recalling a happy memory of them.

Actually, I've seen all of those happen at a funeral. It's usually interspersed with tears, but I have seen traditional, mournful funerals where people manage to appreciate this aspect.

Just so you know.
shoebox_bird
Mar. 4th, 2002 03:25 pm (UTC)
Re: Funerals are for the living....
Well, you could throw a wake. We'll drink gunniess and tell silly stories about you :)
meerkat299
Mar. 4th, 2002 11:12 am (UTC)
Re: Funerals are for the living....
ef2p++, especially the last part
alegria_a
Mar. 4th, 2002 11:23 am (UTC)
wills, both living and dead
Along the way, don't forget to create a living will as well that details your desires if for some reason you are comatose or unable to make decisions for yourself. Spell out exactly what you want to happen - if you're brain dead, no heroic measures/pull the plug; if you're in a coma and expected to come out of it, how long to wait on life support; and so on. Most of the time it's not the death/funeral/property stuff that is a pain, it's trying to figure out when to end the life if necessary.

I need to write up my will soon as well. Right now it's not too difficult, other than providing homes and money for my cats if both ezzie00 and I die at the same time. Everything I have goes to Ezzie (including the cats, much to his dismay ;), minus some of the family jewelry I have that should be returned to my mom and sister. As for what remains of my body, cremate it and put it in a jar up on the mantel so I can creep out all your visitors. :P
ef2p
Mar. 4th, 2002 11:59 am (UTC)
Reallity
The best solution I have heard for these issues are what we did for a caving buddy. Bob died suddenly of a pulmanary embolism. Through out his life he had persued several different hobbies: Surfing (he was the Santa Cruz surf board model for a number of years), kite flying and caving.

There was a classic funeral service followed by a wake at the widow's house. The wake was the first time his buddies from the 3 different hobbies had ever been brought together. Everyone mingle and mixed. The wake was not segregated by hobby. Afterwards, some people there even started to explore the different hobbies. Anyways when the wake started pushing its welcome at the widows, somebody suggest moving it to their house. The wake continued there for several more hours.

Someone described it as: The three groups came together like they were one. They discussed their hobbies and leaned about eachother. It was just as Bob would have liked it.

Unfortunatly I had a show that day and missed the whole thing. I got home around 6ish expecting my parents to be back, only to wait until midnight or so when they finally came home.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

Profile

firesea: self-portrait
jnanacandra
Heather Keith Freeman
Fire Sea Studios

Latest Month

October 2012
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031   

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Naoto Kishi