I dunno. Have you seen the Baby Jesus Buttplug? That's pretty tacky.

More tacky, no. As tacky, maybe. I've seen some Easter displays to rival that, and those always seemed worse to me since I know the pre-Jesus backgrounds of those holidays. Christmas isn't that far off from "generic midwinter", since birth and rebirth are similar notions, but fertile bunny rabbits with eggs next to a man dying a horribly painful death, depicted with cute stigmata? Eek.

This is in the city that I'm moving to? ::gulp::

are those photos from floyd county VA by any chance? It's really rural, and fairly poor, and my parents live _way_ out in the boonies, so whenever I go visit for christmas we make a game of finding the most ugly ones. The worst I've seen are ones that light up and flash and things. Ahh...america *sigh*

It is now required by law that I post these lyrics.

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ARTIST: Ernie Marrs
TITLE: Plastic Jesus


I don't care if it rains of freezes
'Long as I got my Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car.
Through my trials and tribulations
And my travels through the nations
With my Plastic Jesus I'll go far.

Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car
I'm afraid He'll have to go.
His magnets ruin my radio
And if I have a wreck He'll leave a scar.

Riding down a thoroughfare
With His nose up in the air,
A wreck may be ahead, but He don't mind.
Trouble coming He don't see,
He just keeps His eye on me
And any other thing that lies behind.

Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car ...
Though the sunshine on His back
Make Him peel, chip and crack,
A little patching keeps Him up to par.

When I'm in a traffic jam
He don't care if I say "damn"
I can let all my curses roll
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
'Cause he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul.

Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car ...
Once His robe was snowy white,
Now it isn't quite so bright -
Stained by the smoke of my cigar.

If I weave around at night,
And policemen think I'm tight,
They never find my bottle - though they ask.
Plastic Jesus shelters me,
For His head comes off, you see
He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask.

Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car ...
Ride with me and have a dram
Of the blood of the Lamb -
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar.